


Don't Think Twice

by Shinigami_HiMeSakura



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Introspection, M/M, Non-Graphic Smut, Past Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen, Post-Episode: s08e06 The Iron Throne, angsty, conflicted Jon Snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 16:57:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19024081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinigami_HiMeSakura/pseuds/Shinigami_HiMeSakura
Summary: Jon's plagued by thoughts of what could have been and is slowly learning to think about what could be. However, now he has Tormund by his side to remind him of what can be.





	Don't Think Twice

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the Utada Hikaru song of the same name. I was listening to it after the finale and I couldn't stop thinking about them. First time writing for this fandom so I hope this turned out well :) Please enjoy it!

He still expects to wake up at any moment. 

He expects to close his eyes and find he's standing back in King's Landing, surrounded by fire and blood, when they open again. He still expects to hear Drogon's roar and the screams of the people everywhere he turned. He couldn't help but think about every decision he had that led to those moments. Maybe he could have done something, said something different that could have changed things.

He gasps as Tormund makes an especially deep thrust, hitting his sweet spot and making his fingers tighten on his waist. It's hot, almost suffocating beneath the thick furs that the wildling insists on bundling him under even though its been months since he left the Night's Watch for the last time, but Jon wouldn't have it any other way. He needed the heat, the warmth of another's skin against his own. He hadn't felt like this since...

_Since Dany._

He can still remember her like this, during their night on the ship and the few nights they'd shared after. Her violet eyes, soft and gentle, warm in ways that part of him still longed to see again. She was the first to make him truly feel alive again after he'd been brought back and part of him still loved her, would always love her, even after everything that had happened. 

He sometimes thought about how things would be if he'd did as he was asked. If he kept the truth of his birth a secret, would Dany still be by his side? Would she have truly been able to look past him as a threat and love him as she proclaimed? Maybe if he was able to say it back, to show her how much she truly meant then things could have taken another turn.

He hadn't realized he'd shut his eyes tightly at the thoughts or that there was a trail of tears leaking softly down his cheek until he felt the tickle of Tormund's beard brush against his face to kiss them away.

“Now, where did my little crow fly off to?” He whispered softly against Jon's ear. “And what did he see that hurt him so much?”

Jon couldn't answer that. If he was honest, he had too many answers for that. He could only clasp his giant's face between his hands and kiss him softly in apology. “It's nothin.” He said, pressing their foreheads together. “But you did promise, that I wouldn't be able to think straight by the time I left the bed, and you haven't broken a promise to me yet.”

Tormund couldn't help but smile, his grin infectious enough that Jon found himself smiling back until that smile became a shuddering gasp as he began to rock his hips once more. “Aye, that I haven't, my pretty crow.”

There was something about those words that finally had Jon letting go and losing himself to the pleasure. He takes in the feeling of the wildling's fingers threading through his, pressing his arms firmly above his head. The way that no matter where he seems to aim, Tormund's cock is constantly hitting his sweet spot, sending shivers throughout his body and make his cock start leaking anew.

When his eyes fluttered shut this time, there were no thoughts of dragons and fire or thrones and white hair. There was only the two of them and the small world they'd managed to carve out where for those few fleeting seconds only the two them existed. His climax hit suddenly. His arms gripping at Tourmand's shoulders tightly as his thighs did their best to hold him as deep as he he could. As he felt the rush of heat within him at Tormund's completion, he felt himself fade. His mind relaxed, his body sated and his heart filled with an emotion that he was only beginning to risk naming again.

As they lie catching their breath, Jon couldn't help but ask the question plaguing his mind. “Tormund, do ya ever think--”

A finger pressed to his lips silenced his question as Tormund just shook his head. “I wouldn't have thought twice about following you to the ends of the world after what you've done. I don't really give a fuck about how things could be different.” He turned Jon's face to him, an uncharacteristically serious look in his eyes. “Still wouldn't change the fact that nothin would keep me away from your side.”

The words stunned him into silence. He shouldn't have been surprised that the other man knew what he was thinking. Their connection had only seem to grow since going beyond the wall, even if for a while, he'd been doing his best to fight it. He leaned up for another kiss, their lips moving nearly in sync as if they had been at this for years instead of mere months. He felt Tormund's hands pull him closer until they couldn't tell when one of them ended and the other began.

When the thought crosses his mind again, he knows that if he'd made any other choice, he wouldn't have been here. Would things have been different? Of course. He could be king of an entire kingdom, all the power in the realm at his fingers and he would have hated every second. Sometimes he still hated how he arrived at this point and still felt that it was nothing but a dream, that he would wake up one day and every second of this life and contentment he now knew would be gone. 

He thinks instead about other other man makes him feel. How no matter what comes between them, Jon is the only one he sees. How he awoke feelings he never knew he had and made him want things he never thought he _could_ have. He'd felt that with Ygritte and even more so with Dany to the point where there were moments he would have given up everything to be with them forever. Maybe, just maybe it was time to start moving toward a new future, one where not even the coldest winter could dim its light.

He'd have to think about it a bit more.


End file.
